Dear Mr (or Mrs) Moth,
This is the last straw. I wish to make it quite clear that there is now a war between us and you are not welcome in my house. Not that you ever were. You have been having free meals on my handknits for far too long and this week was the end.
After the past couple of years of finding you in the house eating my carpets and hexipuffs, I thought we were finally through. There was also the felted wool dress that you had for lunch. I was not quite so sad about losing that as the dress was not meant to be felted and dolls size but I did have nice plans to make a bag out of it, but what use is a bag full of holes? I had not seen you for a few months so I thought I was safe. How wrong I was.
In 2011 I knitted a Swallowtail Shawl for my Nan's birthday. She always wore a shawl around her shoulders to keep her neck warm. It was beautiful and she loved it. In fact, she loved it so much she hardly wore it because she was frightened something might happen to it. She wore it for her 90th birthday party in 2013 and loved it.
Queenie died just over a year later and I still miss my Nan. I kept her special shawl to remind me of the birthday party fun we all shared with her.
So last week when I was sorting through my clothes as part of getting organised I took out the shawl and found you and your children had been munching through it.
It was obviously very tasty as there are large parts of it now gone and it is far beyond repair. There are other just as lovely and yummy (now don't go getting any ideas) shawls and scarves in that drawer but none that meant as much to me as Queenie's shawl.
I mean, I know it is a lace shawl and maybe you thought you was helping to add some more holes but there are holes that are meant to be there and holes like the one below that really are not.
So this means war. So far I have not found you in my yarn stash or my design samples but let it be known these and all other areas of my house are no go areas for moths. Things are now so serious that I am even letting spiders stay rather than getting them evicted when they show their hairy little bodies with creepy legs. Despite my terrifying fear of spiders I currently prefer them to you and they are welcome to eat you if they find you.
I have prepared all my weapons (moth killers) and my shields are up (essential oils). You will not survive here so give up and leave. Please warn all your children, and your children's children that I am on the warpath and I am not taking prisoners.
Yours sincerely,
Sarah the moth killer